Navigating a Late or Adult ADHD Diagnosis with the Help of Therapy

Receiving an ADHD diagnosis as an adult, or realising that ADHD may explain much of your life experience, can be both eye-opening and overwhelming.

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) affects how people manage focus, organisation, planning, memory, and impulse control. It’s estimated that around 2–3% of adults live with ADHD, though many go undiagnosed for years. ADHD can show up in different ways: some people mainly struggle with attention and forgetfulness, others with restlessness and acting impulsively, and many experience a mix of both.

ADHD is linked to how the brain handles everyday tasks, often referred to as “executive functioning”. It also tends to run in families. A common story I hear is that a parent only begins to recognise ADHD in themselves when their child receives a diagnosis. Thoughts like, “That was me at school too,” or “I struggled just like that,” suddenly start to make sense.

In recent years, schools and health services have become much better at identifying ADHD in children and offering early support. This is a hugely positive development. Earlier understanding can reduce feelings of shame, confusion, and being labelled as “lazy” or “not trying hard enough”.

However, many adults grew up in a time when ADHD was far less understood, especially if they were not disruptive in class but instead quietly struggled with focus, motivation, or organisation.

For these adults, discovering ADHD later in life can bring a powerful mix of emotions.

On one hand, there is often relief. Finally, there is an explanation for years of challenges with school, work, relationships, or self-esteem. Many people describe it as a lightbulb moment where so many past experiences suddenly make sense.

On the other hand, there can be sadness, anger, or grief for what might have been different with earlier understanding and support. Some people reflect on missed opportunities, academic struggles, job changes, or difficult relationships and wonder how things may have unfolded differently.

This is the experience of a “late” or adult ADHD diagnosis.

It’s very common for people to go through a process similar to grief. This may include:

• shock or disbelief

• anger or resentment about missed support

• sadness for their younger self

• gradually moving towards acceptance and self-compassion

Alongside this emotional journey, many people find comfort in learning more about ADHD

and recognising themselves in the experiences of others. There can be a real sense of relief in “finding your tribe”: realising you’re not alone and that many others have walked a similar path.

Some adults choose to seek a formal diagnosis, which can be helpful for clarity and is usually required if someone wishes to explore medication options. For others, simply understanding themselves better is enough to begin making changes that improve daily life.

There is no right or wrong choice — just what feels right for you.

How Therapy Can Support You

An ADHD-informed psychotherapist can offer support through both the emotional and practical sides of a late diagnosis.

Therapy can help you to:

• process the feelings that come with new understanding

• explore past experiences with kindness rather than self-criticism

• learn how ADHD affects you personally

• develop practical coping strategies

• talk through options around assessment, medication, and lifestyle adjustments

Many people find it helpful to revisit their life story through this new lens — understanding that difficulties were not due to laziness, lack of intelligence, or personal failure, but rather a brain that works differently.

This shift in perspective can be incredibly freeing and often leads to greater self-acceptance and confidence.

Whether you’re newly diagnosed, considering an assessment, or simply recognising ADHD traits in yourself, therapy offers a supportive space to make sense of it all at your own pace.

Reach out for a free conversation to chat further